


we'll catch a glimpse of light

by idontshaveforsher_yesyoudo



Series: when the stars are out tonight [1]
Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Cuddling and Ranting about how shitty our hetero-cis-normative society is, Everyone is Queer, F/M, Fluff, Gen, you can read this as petermj or as them just being friend idc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 05:24:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12204735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idontshaveforsher_yesyoudo/pseuds/idontshaveforsher_yesyoudo
Summary: “You know the whole- you know how we always joke about being bi-buddies?” Peter hums and she can feel the vibration of his chest against her head. “Like, I’m happy that I’m friends with two proud queer guys who I can talk to about it and everything but, like, recently, I just can’t seem to get that out of my head? And not in a good way?”Michelle had a shit day and she and Peter talk about how being queer can be hard





	we'll catch a glimpse of light

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is me making mj rant about the things bothering me because that's how i Cope™
> 
> i might write something else for this later with ned in it bc i love him & i don't write about him nearly enough but for now this is what i wrote in the last hour & didn't properly edit, enjoy
> 
> i personally hc mj as bi, peter as bi & trans and ned as pan but i feel like this can generally be read as them being queer in whatever way you prefer idk. if i'm in any way being offensive about anything please tell me. 
> 
> title from andrew huang's song "water"

 

When Peter opens the door she forgoes any greeting, brushes past him towards his room, drops her bag on the floor and then herself on his bed. She can hear him following her and he’s probably wondering what’s going on but she’s had a shit day and right now she just needs- a hand on her shoulder interrupts her thoughts and she sighs as Peter sits down next to her on the bed and begins to stroke her back.

He doesn’t say anything and she’s grateful, she is _so_ grateful to be able to call someone like Peter her best friend. Michelle’s here because they wanted to have a movie night slash sleepover while his aunt is away for the weekend, but the movies will have to wait until she’s in a more fit state than the one she is in right now.

Her face is pressed into Peter’s pillow and she can smell his laundry detergent as she takes deep breaths, calms herself down enough to start talking.

“There’s not even a specific reason why I’m feeling like shit” she begins, her voice slightly muffled against the pillow, so she turns a bit and nudges him with her feet. They move around a bit and reposition themselves until he’s leaning against the headboard and she’s curled into his side with her head on his chest.

She can hear his slow heartbeat and it, additionally to his hand still idly stroking her back, brings her back on track enough to talk about why she is in such a mood right now.

“I just- everyone at home is always talking, you know? Or fighting, or joking around, and they don’t want to annoy me on purpose but it still makes me so fucking antsy, you know? I get angry so easily and everything makes me twitchy and I just- shit, I don’t know.”

She takes a deep breath. Peter’s hand has opened her loose bun and is running through her hair now, or at least as far as manageable because her hair is a tangled mess.

“And like, I’m always pretending that nothing bothers me and that I don’t give a shit about anything and most days that’s true but it’s still so fucking exhausting to keep up. And then recently the whole-“

She stops and inhales deeply. Peter’s hand stops as well and he pulls her closer to him, hugs her tightly.

“You know the whole- you know how we always joke about being bi-buddies?” Peter hums and she can feel the vibration of his chest against her head. “Like, we always make jokes, and I find them funny, I do, and I’m happy that I’m friends with two proud queer guys who I can talk to about it and everything but, like, recently, I just can’t seem to get that out of my head? And not in a good way?”

It sounds more like a question than a statement and Peter speaks up, “What do you mean?”

“Like, I’m thinking about being queer and proud of it but also, like, I worry about the shit world we’re in and the shit going on around us and I shouldn’t care if people find my mere existence offensive or whatever but it still bothers me? And like, there’s so many views and labels forced onto us by our shitty hetero-cis-normative society and I know this and I should be able to ignore it by now but it still bothers me?”

She exhales a soft ‘shit’ and then goes silent for a few minutes, listens to Peter’s heartbeat, focuses on the warmth of their embrace.

“I get it, though.”

It’s Peter who breaks the silence.

“You- I, wonder about like, if my label is right, if I should worry about labels, if I should just go with the flow and not care for society’s norms, if I should not put myself in a box, if it’s weird that I kind of like having a box to put myself in…” He trails off and Michelle nods against his chest.

“Exactly. Like, there’s so much still not casual, or ordinary, or whatever the fuck, about this, and we have to think about all these names and labels and all these choices and everything is a fight or a statement and sometimes it just stresses the fuck out of me.”

Now that it’s out Michelle already feels calmer, more collected, like her thoughts are organised a bit now.

They go quiet until Peter says, “You know I’m always here, though, right? To talk about it, I mean. I feel like I’m kind of an expert in the field of dealing with society’s norms and expectations.”

MJ huffs out a laugh and hugs him even closer than before.

“I know. Thank you.”

They lie there for a while, conversation flowing to other topics, and when they get up to get food a bit later Peter takes her hand and asks her, “Better?”

She squeezes his hand once and smiles.

“Better.”

 

 


End file.
